Time Flies......

As we quickly approach Zane's one year birthday I am amazed and awed by the changes in this little guy. Infants and babies have "personality", sure, but we are getting to know Zane.  Things that he really likes and chooses for himself whether it be food or toys or people - all depending on his mood, of course! Trying new foods has been so fun, the kiddo LOVES some kiwi (just like mama), mac n cheese (of course), tofu, carrots/peas/corn, chicken, GOLDFISH, black beans and tomatoes, and pretty much anything I have put on his tray thus far! It is too funny watching him experience new textures and tastes - he made quite a funny face when he had black beans for the first time yesterday. With the squishy texture he made a "yuelk!!" face but ate them right up.

I have really been missing my sweet McKinley lately - he passed away May 30th 2009 rather quickly. He was the sweetest most loving and calm dog you every met. I have more than one friend who was a self-described "not a dog person" who said they would have had McKinley in a heartbeat. He was just that great. I really look forward to the time when it is right to add another furry member to the family.

I am ready for some cooler weather her in Tx - triple digits for the past couple weeks EVERYDAY! Ouch  : ) 

Just Pictures!

9 month check up

We have a BIG boy - but such has been the case thus far, right? No one is too surprised.....

The stats:

height: 30.5 inches

weight: 25.8 lbs

head circumference: 47.5 cm

So, that puts us at > 97% for height, weight, and head circumference.  Though a big boy he is perfectly proportionate!

Pictures to come, I am having a hard time locating the camera cord and card reader at the moment.

My hope

I pray that I might be the kind of parent that when my child is hurting he will let me (or whomever is near) comfort him but that he ultimately looks to God - I am in tears and speechless by the post.

The cartwheel

Favorite things

Some of Zane's favorite things:

1. eating puffs - banana, greens, sweet potato, blueberry - he has not met a puff he didn't like!

2. eating most things, period. (except avocado, the only thing he has yet to really not like)

3. shrieking

4. laughing at random things (baskets on heads, beach balls tossed to his head) especially when it is repeated over and over and over

5. growling

6. watching Handy Manny while eating puffs, but only for about 5 minutes (short attention span folks!)

7. trying to get to or into whatever we don't want him to (computer cords, fireplace guards, papers, drinks)

8. drooling. always drooling.

9. taking baths, and he LOVES swimming!

10. looking at himself in the mirror

11. Playing with his feet - you can take off his socks and get at least 5-7 minutes of playtime

He is now an all over the place crawler and is pulling up on people, the couch, and the jumparoo legs. No teeth yet and I am hoping the old wives tale holds true that this leads to stronger teeth later. We weighed him with Mark on the scale and by that he weighs 23 lbs now. He is just about out of 12 month clothes and into the 18 month - this kiddo is tall!! I have some pictures coming - we are planning on a great weekend with laundry and getting ready to head to Atlanta next week.

Long overdue update

We are a bit overdue I know, apologies to all. We are thisclose to eight months old!

Zane is an absolute delight, I really think he has spoiled it for any future little blessings! He loves loves loves people, in fact, he *assumes* everyone we see in public is there to see him and say hello - he looks around and oohhhs and uuuggghhhhs until someone will look and smile at him (which they always do). We don't head back to the pediatrician until 9 months but I can tell you he is BIG - he is completely in 12 month clothes and nearly busting out of some of the smaller brands. It is very strange how different the sizes can run in kid's clothes but I suppose not so because it's the same with adults too. Zane is just so TALL torso-wise. The 12 month snaps barely fit and I hate to squeeze either end! At his 6 mth appointment he was 20 lbs even and while he has definitely grown in height we weighed him the other day and got roughly 22 lbs. I have to admit though, I am not all that ready for him to become mobile!!!!

I am heading back to work Monday and am really looking forward to it. It is only part time so I hope it will give us a good balance where I don't feel like I am missing things too much. Time will tell.

A couple of ridiculously handsome men, if I do say so myself.

First swim - he is a natural.

favorite toy of the moment - the farm. He really likes taking all the pieces out and putting them back in. He totally cracks up at animal noises, especially sheep (baaaaaaa) for some reason!

Memorial Day

love. this.

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Marriage

I was immediately drawn to this posting when I saw the title on the listing on side of my blog. Mark and I talk a lot about "us", about what that means in regards to each other as individuals and as parents. I love being Zane's mom, but I am first Mark's wife. Now, that doesn't mean I put Mark's needs before Zane's - I do believe a 7 1/2 month old will win that one the vast majority of the time - but as another mommy blogger, Keight, wrote too:

____ is the ONLY human on the planet who chose me for eternity knowing what he was getting into. also known as, "i cannot believe he signed up for this!"

She goes on to discuss how our parents, sibling, and our own children are 'stuck' (or 'given') to us but our spouse is the one who chooses to be in it for the long haul. I encourage you to read the posting, the link is in her name above, it is funny and rip a band - aid off real at the same time.

I am so happy and fortunate to be "doing life" with Mark - I am thankful for him every day, even on day (yes, like today) when we are morning up from a bedtime dispute that never really got resolved. I could not have hand picked a better dad for my son. I love you Mark.

7 months old and already a frequent flyer

Sorry for being a bit behind on regular updates - for all of you two readers. We had a great last weekend in Atlanta - a quick jaunt that was quickly filled with a baby shower for a dear friend and other things pertaining to Zane's schedule. I mean, if I thought I was going to get to do things spur of the moment or get to see friends outside of baby realm I was wrong. All in all, it is great to head back to Atlanta and see the family but always feel bitter-sweet. I miss everyone so much and haven't really found my place here in Texas. I was incredibly blessed with a lot of wonderful friends in Atlanta and miss you all terribly so.

Who we did get to see is Ashlyn and her mom Radha (we went to UGA together) who live about 3 minutes away from where I was staying (my old place/where liz lives but not right now/mom and dad's atlanta base). In between naps and such we got the kiddos together - they were super cute and seemed to be interested in each other. Day 1 visit - Ash had just woken up and was a little grumpy, but by the last day she was all smiles and trying to pull him over on her quest to walk. (a friendly move, I say)

Another thing, we have been terrible at 'recording' those little moments - I have a baby book for Zane but have not made much progress. Ugh. Don't hold it against me Zane, your mom just isn't the scrapbooking type. I have one (ok 2) pictures with a pregnant belly, I need to print those out and yes, I did save the hospital bracelets and sonogram pictures. I just need to get my rear in gear and get them in the book.

Some recent bath pictures:

Zane is 7 months old as of yesterday!!!!

We love you little buddy.

It won't be long now!

Time to get serious about the baby proofing and put away all things smaller than CD - because it will all go straight in the mouth!

Zane pictures

He is losing that little baby look and getting such a little boy look to him so quickly!

sitting up all by myself guys!

still sitting!  He has kind of a weeble wooble to him but that is good, he can self correct and stay sitting. Of course, he does topple from time to time and acts shocked! 

Zane is eating all types of food and really enjoys just about everything - he even loves to lick lemons and pickles when we are out to eat (yes, we are 'those parents' but he likes it I promise!) 

WHAT IS THIS SQUASH BUSINESS??!!!!

it's an explosion!!!!  

On that random freak snow day - bundled up and looking a little unsure about it 

Easter pictures to come! 

Funny Times

So I figure the three of you who read this blog might want a Zane update! We are quickly approaching his half birthday (WHAT? Six months?? ALREADY?!!) I think this is what people meant when they tell you to enjoy it, time goes by quickly. At this rate I will be sending him off to college by December. Yes, a little dramatic I know - Mark was asking me today if it will make me sad the day Zane pulls away when I try and kiss or snuggle him - I said no but I know it will! Always my baby he will be.........

A video of Zane laughing - he thinks it is too funny when you gasp - I apologize if the 'gasping' gets a little annoying but there is not much as sweet as a baby giggle!!

Good Friday

As a child I remember Good Friday as being something I didn't understand. Ok, so I did "get" that this was the day Jesus was crucified and died, but what about that was "good"?  In a child's understanding (at least, Patricia-child) "good" was not a word that was associated with death. I remember figuring that I was missing something adult and hey, a couple days from now means baskets full of jelly beans and such anyway, right??!!!!

Oh but so so much is good. I have been thinking a lot about today and it meaning.  Without the events of today we don't have Easter, we don't have forgiveness for our sin. I have also been pondering the depth of all our understanding of the next three days events and how much hoopla surrounds Christmas, which is hugely important of course but does it really even come close to Easter??!!!  We glaze over Easter with plastic grass and baskets and chocolate bunnies and marshmallow chicks - of course, I am saying "we" but I mean "me".   I am taking the time to think about today, tomorrow, and Sunday. To truly ponder what it means to me, for me, and for all. Regardless of a person's beliefs or their thoughts on religion - in my heart I do believe that each and every person out there is someone for whom Christ died. The end - and so life beings.

Ahhhh sleep.

It is amazing what one night of sleep will do for a person. I was nearly at my wit's end (just ask Mark who was seriously worried about my sanity) and then a glorious 6 hours of minimally uninterrupted sleep later I am back among the living and feel like I have infinite patience. Even if the next night Zane again woke up every 3 hours - no matter, I was refueled and recharged and could roll with the punches.  We started giving him a bottle at 1030 to "top him off" and it seems to help. We even made it to church today!!

Rarely does Zane fall asleep on us anymore - he is a very busy little guy - but one night last week he did just that while we waited for his Dad to get home. What a sweet sight it is:

A cute post-bath photo - I think Zane resents the super cute doggie towel pictures because he wrestled that thing with all he could muster! 

Bootcamp starts tomorrow - yea for the burn!!!  

Sleeping through the night......or not

We are having a little bit of trouble with this whole "more than 6 consecutive hours of" sleep thing. In fact, for the past week I have not gotten more than 2 1/2-3 hours consecutive sleep. I don't know if he is starting the teething experience which I have heard can cause increased night awakening, the drooling is ever present and I can't quite feel a tooth but his gums seem harder on the bottom. I have heavily relied on the coffee in the am - thank goodness for coffee!!!  I am going to try something new tonight and given him some formula after I nurse him, around 11 pm. Fingers crossed.....

This is the sweetest little face that I see when daylight comes:

Ahhh what sleep deprivation again??

Photoshop and other things unnecessarily complicated

I consider myself intelligent (on some scales) and relatively handy when it comes to minor home repairs and such (thanks Dad!) and even able to hold my head above water when it comes to electronics and computers in general. As such, wires and html and all that don't frighten me. I will try, falling just short of crashing the computer or blowing the fuse before calling in the reinforcements. 

Then there is photoshop. 

What??!!!!  Surely this little photo editing program used by thousands can't be that difficult??!!!  Well, I recently purchased Elements 8 and was tinkering around with it before I went online and purchased a book to help me out a bit: (image "borrowed" from amazon.com) 

It is a great book and I am working my way through it. The problem being is that the authors assume certain skills and knowledge of "step one" when going through the editing techniques. (like they assume you know how to make a selection, what tool to use, etc. Ok, apparently not)  More tinkering to ensue. I have looked from some free classes in the area and so far no luck. 

What I want to be able to do is turn my photos into eye popping visions, kinda like Dooce. Especially while Zane's eyes are still blue. How cool is that?  

So, a picture I have been working on is this one - see the object is off center, small, the door looks like the focus. I wanted to clean it up, crop it, make some of the colors pop. 

A couple hours into it and I am still working on it.  At least the subject is cute!  It is hard (er) to get frustrated when that darling face is looking at you! 

Another thing that I find, not necessarily complicated, but just not quite as easy as I envisioned is Post baby BF weight loss. I took whole heartedly and bought into the thought that "BF makes the pounds just  FALL OFF!!!"  Um, ya, I should have known this not to be true as lbs have never just fallen off. I have worked for every lb lost ever. Ok, except for that little diet known as chemo and radiation but that just doesn't count. Like, duh.  

There is my little reminder there to live in and love the present, appreciate and cherish good health and all our many blessings and not obsess. The fact that I was able to get pregnant and have Zane is a miracle to me. For years I had resigned myself to the fact that my ovaries were fried and that was ok - God had other plans for me. When we found out we were pregnant in early '09 I lived in a state of semi-denial for months (brought back to reality when my head hung over the toilet bowl, sports center blasting in the next room as Mark tried to drown out the heaves. Really though, he was great. He let me puke with the door open so I wasn't "alone" Ha!) 

When we mulled over names - Some of Mark's tops were Dutch (Um, no, but we can only hope Zane is as much a bad ass as Arnold in Predator), Alouicious, Tank, and others that are better left unwritten. Our niece Maddie suggested we name him Zane. We liked the name and when we came home and looked it up the meaning was, "God is gracious".  Bingo.  Sums it right up. 

I digress - so I start boot-camp on the 15th and I could not be more excited. I did boot-camp the spring before the wedding which was FANTASTIC. I was in the midst of grad school and was even more beneficial for my overall well-being as stress buster. 

Still on the job search, I have some options and am weighing a few possibilities right now though it will probably be at least a month before I get back into it. 

Oh, and LOST was just as mind twistingly great as usual. My sister Liz's boyfriend was in town from NYC on business and I got to pick his brain a bit about theories. Thanks Matt!!  

It's LOST!

I love LOST. Love. it. Seriously, I find myself looking forward to Tuesday during the weekend. Ok, yes, I am not back to work just yet so while the weekends are fantastic because I get to spend all day with my honey they don't have the same weight. I get that. But people, I LOVE LOST. I love the way it makes my head spin in circles, the time I spend between episodes ruminating on plot lines and character twists. I even love Wednesdays because after I watch the episode (late Tuesday night, on DVR, without commercial interruption so as not to break my concentration. Sorry ABC) I check my email repeatedly until Doc Jensen's column notification pops up. He gives great recaps and strange reality parallels and funny tie-ins. Another thing I love and it great of ABC is the hour before the new episode they show the previous week with commentary running at the bottom with the explanation and/or past signifcance.

If you have not watched the show it would be very hard to pick up now (though not impossible) as each episode builds on the past ones and at times some minor previous plot points.  However, if you like a good mystery try Netflix or Hulu.com or buy the past seasons on DVD, you won't be sorry.

Yea It's Tuesday!!!!!

*I have typed up the bathroom renovation and have the 'before' pics uploaded, the 'after' to come soon!

Stats

At Zane's 4 month old appointment (2/10/2010):

Height - 26 inches, 90th %

Weight - 14.4 lbs, ~40th % 

Height for Weight, ~ 10th % 

Head Circumference - 44 cm, between 90th and 95th % 

So, he is long and slender. (where does he get that from??!!! Aunt Liz perhaps??!!) 

Random model image off my computer of Liz - see what I mean??!!  

Back to the Zane-weight part,  I have anxiously worried about my milk supply (is it sufficient?? Is there enough for him? Why does he cry when he is 'finished'??!!) since he was born. BF didn't not come easy for us given the NICU stay and formula/artificial nipple first but I am so glad I stuck with it. There are days where things are easy-peasy and I feel like super BF mom. There are other days when he pulls off and cries, and gets latched back only to pull off again and cry. Oh, and they feel "empty" too. This is usually around 5-6 pm and anything after. I have given formula here or there all along the way, if he was especially hungry and not calming down, if he was at my wonderful Mother-in-Law's (I would pump if he was not here) so he is plenty fine with taking a bottle. I have also pumped a modest amount - but feel freakishly protective of it, like it is some huge accomplishment for me.  Like, I inwardly cringe when I depleat the 'stash' and defrost some to give to him. WHAT???  CRA-ZY. A little "Celine" if you will. (love the lady but she can come across as a bit whack-a-loo, again, crazy fantastic). 

Thanks to my wonderful friend Katy - she introduced me to the blog another chick about my age and stage of life who has an 8 month old. I was looking back at the previous posts from a time when her little dude was Zane's age and came across this. 

So, apparently it is not just me who gets a little weird with the milk. Thank goodness, I was beginning to wonder if this is how my crazy has manifested. 

Mark is so wonderfully supportive to my "I can't feed our CHILD!!" rants of anguish, feeling the world is ending when my supply doesn't meet demand. I drink a lot of tea, (3-4 cups a day, I have bought in bulk) have taken some other recommended herbal supplements and continue to do so. I have also come to terms with what is important is feeding and growing Zane (like, duh) and my ability to exclusively BF him does not correlate with my self worth. Oh, ok. 

I gave him an extra feeding/bottle this afternoon and for the past couple nights have been giving him a bottle before bed. He is super happy when his tummy is full (again, duh) and slept from 8:30pm-7:15 am last night with barely a peep. 

I am ok with this - we are cruising on 4 1/2 months old and I had set a personal goal of BF until he was at least 6 months old. There are some other things I can do, like pump after each feeding and possible ask the Dr for some other Rx assistance. Overall though, I am ok with the need to supplement what I can feed him - the #1 priority is getting him nourishment. I say that for my own benefit, as I know you all know this to be true. 

Some pictures from the recent Texas snow and cute ones post-bath 

My 'couch to 5K' program still going well and bootcamp to start March 15th. Haven't seen the scale budge much, maybe a lb or two,  but it has only been a little less than 2 weeks. I am ignoring the girl scout cookies calling my name right now too - my reminder. I love that when Mark called the other night when he was on his way home he says, "I have a good and bad surprise for you!!!" as I try to not have high calorie zero nutrition snacky foods in the house. He is too funny. 

It's time.

Ahhhh Laundry. Laundry, Laundry, Laundry. You are my mistress - I hear you calling my name day and night and my thoughts are never far from you. I came to this realization yesterday as I was doing yet another load, the rest all separated into whites, colors, darks and sheets/towels. I had this feeling of being able to conquer this daunting task of getting it all done.

and then it hit me.

I saw a little pair of socks, a onesie, and some tiny little pants on the floor in the family room - left over from an hour or so earlier when Mark had changed Zane into his PJ's. It hit me alright, something so blatantly obvious but yet the sheer simplicity of it had escaped me.

It will NEVER be all finished. There will always be those clothes we are wearing, the socks/underwear/shirt that was tossed behind the hamper and missed the 'last call' before washing time.

I had feelings of defeat and acceptance that this was an un-winable battle. So simple you say?  Yes, this realization had escaped this masters educated (x2) person with such ease. Ha, yes, laugh if you will. You know what this tells me??

It's time to go back to work.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE being at home with Zane and it has been such a blessing to have been able to do it thus far. Mark and I planned it so that I could be home for these first few months, always knowing that I would be going back sooner or later - that our savings would only last so long before the dwindling number on that bank statement would send ripples of fear down our spine.  When that would be was left undefined and I had no idea that something like laundry would send me over the edge. It might be lack of uninterrupted sleep, the taunting from the arrival of my Clinical Advisor  magazine, or just the nearing of the 'it's time' feeling but I am thinking we are nearing that point.


However, I don't think for a second that leaving this face a few days a week will be easy:

We will figure things out as we go.

Anyone know of a practice looking for a part time NP??

4 Months old!

Zane is now 16 weeks into this wonderful crazy world and (seemingly) enjoying just about every minute! He loves to play, loves to be held and talked to, and LOVES to look at himself in the mirror! I kid you not, this is his absolute favorite thing to do! Have a grouchy Zane? Just walk him over to the hall or bathroom mirror and Volia! Happy Baby!!!

Zane checking himself out - What a handsome guy!!!

Here were are heading out on a walk - the first half went great, he loved it. The second half...not so great, he was getting the breezy (ie COLD) wind in his face and was none to happy about it!

I have started my "Couch to 5K in 30 days" program and am so happy to get this tush moving! We are very lucky to have a treadmill (thanks Paul and Nancy!!) and I am doing a bootcamp fitness next month. I have been a 'runner' off and on since college and love it when I am at it regularly. I have high aspirations of doing a half marathon with my sister Liz at some point.....

Wish me Luck!!!

Is that drool on your shirt or are you just excited to see me??!!

I have a child who loves to smile (most blessed am I!). This is a child who also drools enough each day to thoroughly wet at least three outfits - if I am not watchful and ready with new bibs. While we have LOTS of blankets, towels, numerous other baby accessories one thing that I did not receive or buy more than a few of are bibs. Probably because I did not foresee this drool storm, I merely thought bib-wearing came with food eating (experienced people and moms everywhere snicker at this oh so amateur thought).

So, what does one do when EVERY bib one owns is dirty, wet, and smelly?? Improvise of course!!!

That is a cloth diaper/burb rag around his neck. Worked beautifully - while it stayed on - long enough to get some bibs out of the dryer!

On the next trip to Target (my favorite escape) I picked up few more bibs with new found appreciation.

Isn't he a doll?? Ok, sure, I am slightly biased : )

A first

Something happened this morning that has not happened ever.... not that I wasn't anticipating that it would, because I was, ever since Mark and I got married. I just got 'comfortable' I guess and let my guard down.

I. fell. in. the. toilet.

I was distracted, baby was crying, I was hurrying, and SPLASH.

You see, Mark and I decided this was a non-issue for us a while ago. I don't automatically put the seat up after I am finished so why should he always put it down? I was fine with that and so was he. I checked, put it down, and went about my business so to speak. Again, non issue.

Until today.

Well, it is still a non-issue. There are much bigger things out there and this is not even in the realm of stuff to care about.

but it is kinda funny : )

Sip n' See 1 & 2

We had a wonderful time in Atlanta - it just went by too quickly!!! Saturday we had a great time with some of my mom's friends at a lovely shower given by Mrs Schultz. Zane was a doll and such a good sport allowing everyone to hold and play with him. He was all smiles and coos! On Sunday my sisters and mom hosted another shower at my sister Liz's place. It was so fantastic, I was able to see so many of my Atlanta friends. I must admit it was slightly bitter-sweet; I truly have come to realize how deeply I miss all of them and how many thoughtful kind people I have been blessed with and honored to call friends. Many of them have little ones of their own - or are expecting. Zane got to play with Ashlyn who was born three week before him:

Ashlyn's mom Radha and me - we are friends from the glory days at UGA:

The DELICIOUS cake that the fabulous Layne made, from Sweet and Sinful Bakery:

I wish I would have gotten more pictures with friends - but here are a few more of the star from the weekend:

The bathroom remodel continues....hopefully will be finished next week. (fingers crossed) the dust and disarray is making me a little spazy!