Stats

At Zane's 4 month old appointment (2/10/2010):

Height - 26 inches, 90th %

Weight - 14.4 lbs, ~40th % 

Height for Weight, ~ 10th % 

Head Circumference - 44 cm, between 90th and 95th % 

So, he is long and slender. (where does he get that from??!!! Aunt Liz perhaps??!!) 

Random model image off my computer of Liz - see what I mean??!!  

Back to the Zane-weight part,  I have anxiously worried about my milk supply (is it sufficient?? Is there enough for him? Why does he cry when he is 'finished'??!!) since he was born. BF didn't not come easy for us given the NICU stay and formula/artificial nipple first but I am so glad I stuck with it. There are days where things are easy-peasy and I feel like super BF mom. There are other days when he pulls off and cries, and gets latched back only to pull off again and cry. Oh, and they feel "empty" too. This is usually around 5-6 pm and anything after. I have given formula here or there all along the way, if he was especially hungry and not calming down, if he was at my wonderful Mother-in-Law's (I would pump if he was not here) so he is plenty fine with taking a bottle. I have also pumped a modest amount - but feel freakishly protective of it, like it is some huge accomplishment for me.  Like, I inwardly cringe when I depleat the 'stash' and defrost some to give to him. WHAT???  CRA-ZY. A little "Celine" if you will. (love the lady but she can come across as a bit whack-a-loo, again, crazy fantastic). 

Thanks to my wonderful friend Katy - she introduced me to the blog another chick about my age and stage of life who has an 8 month old. I was looking back at the previous posts from a time when her little dude was Zane's age and came across this. 

So, apparently it is not just me who gets a little weird with the milk. Thank goodness, I was beginning to wonder if this is how my crazy has manifested. 

Mark is so wonderfully supportive to my "I can't feed our CHILD!!" rants of anguish, feeling the world is ending when my supply doesn't meet demand. I drink a lot of tea, (3-4 cups a day, I have bought in bulk) have taken some other recommended herbal supplements and continue to do so. I have also come to terms with what is important is feeding and growing Zane (like, duh) and my ability to exclusively BF him does not correlate with my self worth. Oh, ok. 

I gave him an extra feeding/bottle this afternoon and for the past couple nights have been giving him a bottle before bed. He is super happy when his tummy is full (again, duh) and slept from 8:30pm-7:15 am last night with barely a peep. 

I am ok with this - we are cruising on 4 1/2 months old and I had set a personal goal of BF until he was at least 6 months old. There are some other things I can do, like pump after each feeding and possible ask the Dr for some other Rx assistance. Overall though, I am ok with the need to supplement what I can feed him - the #1 priority is getting him nourishment. I say that for my own benefit, as I know you all know this to be true. 

Some pictures from the recent Texas snow and cute ones post-bath 

My 'couch to 5K' program still going well and bootcamp to start March 15th. Haven't seen the scale budge much, maybe a lb or two,  but it has only been a little less than 2 weeks. I am ignoring the girl scout cookies calling my name right now too - my reminder. I love that when Mark called the other night when he was on his way home he says, "I have a good and bad surprise for you!!!" as I try to not have high calorie zero nutrition snacky foods in the house. He is too funny. 

It's time.

Ahhhh Laundry. Laundry, Laundry, Laundry. You are my mistress - I hear you calling my name day and night and my thoughts are never far from you. I came to this realization yesterday as I was doing yet another load, the rest all separated into whites, colors, darks and sheets/towels. I had this feeling of being able to conquer this daunting task of getting it all done.

and then it hit me.

I saw a little pair of socks, a onesie, and some tiny little pants on the floor in the family room - left over from an hour or so earlier when Mark had changed Zane into his PJ's. It hit me alright, something so blatantly obvious but yet the sheer simplicity of it had escaped me.

It will NEVER be all finished. There will always be those clothes we are wearing, the socks/underwear/shirt that was tossed behind the hamper and missed the 'last call' before washing time.

I had feelings of defeat and acceptance that this was an un-winable battle. So simple you say?  Yes, this realization had escaped this masters educated (x2) person with such ease. Ha, yes, laugh if you will. You know what this tells me??

It's time to go back to work.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE being at home with Zane and it has been such a blessing to have been able to do it thus far. Mark and I planned it so that I could be home for these first few months, always knowing that I would be going back sooner or later - that our savings would only last so long before the dwindling number on that bank statement would send ripples of fear down our spine.  When that would be was left undefined and I had no idea that something like laundry would send me over the edge. It might be lack of uninterrupted sleep, the taunting from the arrival of my Clinical Advisor  magazine, or just the nearing of the 'it's time' feeling but I am thinking we are nearing that point.


However, I don't think for a second that leaving this face a few days a week will be easy:

We will figure things out as we go.

Anyone know of a practice looking for a part time NP??

4 Months old!

Zane is now 16 weeks into this wonderful crazy world and (seemingly) enjoying just about every minute! He loves to play, loves to be held and talked to, and LOVES to look at himself in the mirror! I kid you not, this is his absolute favorite thing to do! Have a grouchy Zane? Just walk him over to the hall or bathroom mirror and Volia! Happy Baby!!!

Zane checking himself out - What a handsome guy!!!

Here were are heading out on a walk - the first half went great, he loved it. The second half...not so great, he was getting the breezy (ie COLD) wind in his face and was none to happy about it!

I have started my "Couch to 5K in 30 days" program and am so happy to get this tush moving! We are very lucky to have a treadmill (thanks Paul and Nancy!!) and I am doing a bootcamp fitness next month. I have been a 'runner' off and on since college and love it when I am at it regularly. I have high aspirations of doing a half marathon with my sister Liz at some point.....

Wish me Luck!!!

Is that drool on your shirt or are you just excited to see me??!!

I have a child who loves to smile (most blessed am I!). This is a child who also drools enough each day to thoroughly wet at least three outfits - if I am not watchful and ready with new bibs. While we have LOTS of blankets, towels, numerous other baby accessories one thing that I did not receive or buy more than a few of are bibs. Probably because I did not foresee this drool storm, I merely thought bib-wearing came with food eating (experienced people and moms everywhere snicker at this oh so amateur thought).

So, what does one do when EVERY bib one owns is dirty, wet, and smelly?? Improvise of course!!!

That is a cloth diaper/burb rag around his neck. Worked beautifully - while it stayed on - long enough to get some bibs out of the dryer!

On the next trip to Target (my favorite escape) I picked up few more bibs with new found appreciation.

Isn't he a doll?? Ok, sure, I am slightly biased : )